Thursday, February 09, 2006

Say your prayers and guard your blood

No, this isn't an STD warning.

Despite vampires never having been more popular, with a vampire program on the telly somewhere at every second of the day (and night), and the potential for an entire new wing to be built at Borders to house vampire literature -- despite these healthy cultural indices, the message just isn't getting out: Wear cloves of garlic around your neck at all times. Personally, I wouldn't neglect other areas of the body, either, as vampires cut off at the neck by squeamish humans will probably just go to any unprotected expanse of skin. (This, as older readers might be aware, is technically known as drive-in behavior.)

However that may be, I found I'd collected a bunch of vampire movie stills from the early 30s to the early 70s and needed an excuse to delete them from my increasingly pointless Image Data Bank. (Need a new image? You know where to go. And our interest has never been lower.)

So here we have a rather obvious parody of vampire movies, with a blessed dearth of artsifartiness. It was fun, and I was up late. Besides, I did have an incredibly good time mixing the soundtrack from two or three dozen CDs. The first person to identify all sound sources used will have my undying respect. Any person to identify more than two or three can take over my mortgage payments.

If you have trouble with vampires -- and who doesn't? -- think of them as radical Islam -- or Red Things with fangs and an interesting wardrobe.