Saturday, November 05, 2005

...After This Brief Commercial Interruption...

every gentleman will cherish with manly affection. The automobile of the future may not be wheeled at all, but powered by nucleonic steam on treated silk treads, attaining speeds in excess of 35 kph. Style in haberdashery is the mark of power and zip in our European cultural capitals. Every woman who has ever experienced this problem is aware of the deep embarrassment the resulting scenes and disturbances can cause -- so why not do what the milkmaidens of the Rhineland do to attain their fragrant flounce? "I have spent many years of study among the Maori," advises Dr. Addleton confidentially, "where sexual reproduction is a way of life, and these ancient secrets are now available in cream form or as a small engine at your nearest sewing vendor's." Marie could not "land a man," despite a pretty face and vast wealth, until her dearest friend Father Nicholas confided in her that heavily scented perfumes were inadequate to today's close liaisons. Every family wants to be assured that its savings are safe from crop failures and guerilla hordes. The "standard shoe size" can prove woefully inadequate to your personal needs without scientific measurements and individual construction by a licensed foot specialist. Many sporting lads have found that Dynamic Cord-o-Flex strumulator is just the boost their banjo-playing needs in that moonlit rowboat. Perfect physical strength can be attained by any man in just twelve seconds per day. Take the inexpensive Wingfold Catalepsy Test, and make sure that you don't miss the "prom." "Oh, foo," cried Griselda, "my homebaked cake tastes like excrement because I didn't use Power Flour!" We offer compleat gynaecological degrees by mail in the privacy of the home. Learn the fine game of "Base Ball" with four simple squares and our illustrated instruction booklet. Raise monkeys in glass jars!