Sunday, August 28, 2005

Les Girls

I'd added this as a starkly irrelevant Comment to my previous post on the sweet young thangs of Northampton, Massachusetts. I thought it would serve better as a full-fledged, though startlingly trivial, entry on its own. Besides, this gets my wordcount for the weekend up.

Mrs. Bleak says that my "pubic hair of the jaw" did not do full justice tothe bearded lady's scraggly growth, and I rarely get complaints that I am not disgusting enough. All right: imagine a darkhaired boy who lets his first beard grow in, then never, ever shaves. The hair weaves hither and yon over the years, with an effect not unlike overgrown weeds. Food particles, tobacco, juice stains, and oral habits we will not speculate on, all contribute to nurture the tangled undergrowth. Once every six months, in order to cut down his wind resistance, and to allow his teeth to function unimpeded, he hacks away with a pocket knife otherwise reserved for self-defense, paring and cleaning his nails, and tearing apart the stubborn elements in his meals. Ten years later, he has sex-change surgery, although, as the doctor says, "There are natural limits to what we can accomplish." That should do, I think, unless you want to imagine the pimples.